+ Test of Faith +
I’m finally able to talk to my mom over the phone for several times now. She was brought to the hospital last Sunday after being found lying unconscious on our kitchen floor with her head bleeding profusely. She says she’s getting better na, and that she’s gonna see the doctor again to find out the exact diagnosis. Strange thing is, when I get to talk to my dad and my brother about it, they get me really nervous with their conclusions. But when I talk to my mom, she tells me that everything’s all right and that Papa and Jem are actually just overreacting. As a nurse and clearly the more logical one, I want to trust my mom’s judgment. It just makes me feel bad that I’m so far away from home where I couldn’t be beside her to take care of her. So all I’m able to do is utter prayers for my mom, and for my dad who’s not actually physically fit himself anymore.
May God strengthen them both.

+ Greatest Fear +
It’s one of my greatest fears… to find out that one of my family members was rushed to the hospital in emergency. I can’t even begin to describe the feeling I felt then when my brother called me up to tell me about my mom. Breaking down is an understatement. Hmm. I wonder which is worse? The fear of that, or the fear of the fear actually being realized? Hehe. Are you with me?

+ History in the Making: Pacman Craze +
I’m currently feeling very patriotic. I was able to watch the whole fight between Pacquiao and Morales on TV. I was very intrigued as to how it will turn out despite having no one to watch it with. After two rounds, and after Morales’ deadly punches landed on Pacquiao’s face for several times, I started to feel a bit edgy from where I’m seated. I decided to quit watching because I felt that, if ever, I won’t be able to accept the defeat on behalf of the Filipino people (haha! I’m very pessismistic). But just before I turned off the TV, I received a txt msg from my dad saying: “FW: Pacquiao wins! Round 10. Knock out c morales.” That was enough to keep me believing. I sat down and waited for Round 10. True enough, the Mexican guy was beaten down twice, which I later learned was how a TKO’s called (I am ignorant with the rules in boxing, mind you). Our neighbors next door were shouting and jumping, and I couldn’t help smiling. Yey, Manny did it! Haha! Feeling close!! :) And I didn’t even mind receiving the spoiler text from my dad. Heehee. I just wish then I was back home watching it with him and my mom rather than watching it alone.

+ Job on the side +
Attention, peeps, I’m in dire need of something to do other than my current job. If anyone knows a raket I can do or be part of to earn a little on the side, please inform me. Preferably, something that I can actually do and doesn’t involve sales. I am so not good at the selling and convincing thing. Hehe. Besides, I really need something to distract me from the bad thoughts and feelings that are haunting me nowadays.

+ So there +
It feels good to rant. Even if it’s on senseless things sometimes. Hehe. Stay happy, everyone, and don’t forget to show your loved ones that you love them not “because of” but “despite of”. It’s important that we stay intact and not let the little things and mistakes change how these people mean to us. Let’s try to love as God does, unconditionally. Now why am I saying this? Just a thought, I guess. :)

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Share lang. Found this excerpt in one of the “Touching Hair Stories” of Sunsilk online. Not to bad mouth some innocent girl’s story or anything, but this part really made me laugh. Hehe. A temporary antidote to my very bad day.

“..then suddently something blew to my hair while a guy desperately trying to catch his ticket he keep on chasing it, he accidentally grabbed my hair. he strooked my hair.. nabigla nga ako… as in…that’s y I turned around and just smiled. the guy longingly smiled back at me then realizing that it’s the new cute guy on school. omgd! at natatameme ako bigla but he instantly just say “who said that there was NO sucH LoVE at FiRst SitE??!! raThER.. LoVE at First ToucH… =) then bigla lang ako ngsabi ng HUH??!! What Did yOu Say??!! at natawa ako bigla…”

Unknown to her (whoever she is), I laughed a lot harder than she ever did. hahaha! I’m bad.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28(KJV)

The above verse is one of my favorites, if not my most favorite. It’s always comforting for me to say this to myself over and over again especially in times when I am down.These words suddenly popped in my head this morning, when Riz and I were on our way to work. I’ve thought of it,along with thoughts on being late to work again, and the movie “Sliding Doors” (Haha, weird isn’t it?). And it made me think again: Is everything, every single thing, that’s happening in my life for my good? Even the hurts and problems? Do they count? Is the most inconceivable thing that could possibly take place in my life included in the list? Or even the simplest things, like, not making it to the first MRT trip or an earlier FX ride, or being cut in by someone in line so he gets to go first before me. Are those petty things significant?

I remember our pastor back home when he would consistently emphasize on the word “ALL” in his sermons. For instance, the verse Romans 8:28, he would open his Bible and read it as: “And we know that some things work together for good…”, and then he would pause and face the congregation with a questioning look on his face. “Some? No. ALL. All things work for our good.” And then I would see some (if not all?) of the people nod their heads in agreement. Hehe. That was one of his trademarks.

So how does a short word such as “all” mean so much? When God says “all”, he means ALL.

• All things work for the good of those who love God.
• For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Rom3:23)
• Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we askor imagine… (Eph 3:20)

Sometimes it’s really hard to understand the truth in His Word. Especially when you’re hurting or facing a seemingly impossible problem. You want to look ahead and see the truth but clouds of doubt get in the way. This is particularly true for me. So many’s uncertain in my life right now. You could say that, I’m walking through dark tunnels, playing with fire, and the likes. It’s hard this way coz I don’t know what’s gonna happen next, and the worry and anxiety sort of eats me up. There are times that I doubt His power, but I never doubt His love. And I know, deep inside, that ALL the things He allows to happen in my life, good or bad, small or big, is for my good. And then upon realizing that truth, I am made strong through His power and love.