Last week, right in the middle of my major dramatic life transition, an unexpected thing happened. Someone, who i came to trust (because i’m just so damn nice!) stole from me but wouldn’t admit it. Well, I could be wrong with my suspicion.. but I don’t think I am. I swear i never misplaced that thing, and i’m 99.9% sure that person took it.

The last few days had been hell, for that item stolen is of great importance and value. I’ve been struggling to forgive even though it’s not asked of me, to forgive myself for being so naive even though it’s not actually my fault, and to deal with my anger. I’ve been asking the Lord why this has happened.. why i have been constantly a victim of the cruelty of mankind (exag!).. why He has allowed the sin of others to affect me and bring me undeserved nuisance.. why of all times and all things, it was stolen at this crucial time in my life. I so badly needed it and what makes this worse is, it wasn’t mine, and yet I lost it. And now, i have to find a way to compensate for it. How more upset can i get?

In line with what happened, an old friend texted me to ask for my help in praying for that something important she needs to do. I told her, “Sure, I’ll pray for you. That is, if my prayers are actually heard..” I was rebuked for saying that. And more importantly, His Word comes to the rescue again. I don’t know how He does it. That every time my unbelief starts to kick in, He finds a way to speak.. just in time i begin to feel ignored.

Peter said, *”Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”

What happened is not something strange. I am living in this earth, what did I expect? That every person I meet is nice just because he/she seems nice? That I actually expect fairness? That nothing’s supposed to go wrong because I am God’s child?

Then it’s a foolish expection.

“At all times, but especially in times of suffering, help me to fix my eyes on You, Lord Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the glory set before You endured the cross. Help me to consider You who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that I will not grow weary and lose heart when it comes my turn to carry a cross..”

So how is it to forgive someone who’s not asking for it and to reluctantly choose to just extend grace out of obedience to Him?

It’s a battle. But because I am His, I’m always on the winning side, ain’t I?

*1 Pet 4:12-13 (NIV)

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